Do not fear: 3 ways to let go of fear

Fear. Fear has a way of clinging on to you like an overbearing ex - never wanting to let go.

Fear has been an annoying friend of mine for a very long time. I finally decided to break up with fear a few years back. Though it still seems to peer it's ugly head out every once in a while...it knows it's not allowed to stay.

Some people may use other words to describe fear - a couple of them are: anxiety or worry.

Fear used to stop me in my tracks. Public speaking was a huge fear of mine. I remember when I first started my career and had to jump on a conference call. Two weeks prior, I couldn't sleep and had night sweats each evening just dreading the day.

When the day finally came that I had to say my name and location on this conference call, I froze. My throat closed up and I couldn't. get. the. words. out. of. my. mouth.

I was really embarrassed and felt defeated.

I would attempt to sneak past anything speaking related during my career and previously in school, but realized that it would negatively impact my career if I did not find a way to overcome it.

About 10 years ago, I joined Toastmasters and began going consistently for the past 8 years. It changed my life - professionally and personally.

Here are 3 tips that helped me unfriend Fear:

1. Be aware.

What are your thoughts thinking? For me, I didn't realize that my thoughts were habits and my habits were very negative. My thoughts always tried to find something to worry about or be fearful over. They would constantly replay. I realized that these negative thoughts were simply habits that I had created for so many years.

2. Create goals.

Understanding and being aware of what fears you might have, can be invigorating. After being aware, we can have fun by creating goals within these fears. Remember, fears are typically thought of as bad but fears are an attempt in our minds to protect us. Fears want to stay hidden and out of sight - but when we let the cat out of the bag, that's where we can rid ourselves from fear.

For example, I was terrified of public speaking previously. I decided a goal of mine would be to go to a Toastmasters (an organization that helps people with speaking, listening and leadership skills - highly recommend!) meeting. In reality, I drove to Toastmasters an hour away...not once, but twice...without even stepping foot in the meeting. I talked myself out of going in because the fear got to me. Remember, the things we fear want to stay hidden. It wasn't until the third time, I had the courage to step foot into a meeting. When I was finally able to go consistently is when I saw results. I saw my fear begin to decrease while my confidence begin to increase.

3. Reprogram our mind.

Our minds are like computers - they are reprogrammable when we know where we are at and where we'd like to go. For instance, if I know my thoughts are primarily negative and I would like them to be primarily positive - what can I do about that?

I can feed it more positive thoughts. How? By asking different questions, by reading positive books, by listening to more positive things. Good input = good output. Less empowering input = less empowering output. Get it?

Fears have been creeping up on all of our lives for centuries. Again, there are still fears that creep up every now and again, but I have good input to scare it away like garlic for a vampire.

I hope my experience helps you realize that you are not alone. Research studies show that over 90% of the things we worry about or are fearful of never actually occur.

Get out there and make a difference in the world. Be the best you.

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